IASB Apologizes

We apologize for the long delay in getting Bureau Talk to you.  This is a combined issue for June and July 2007.  The delay was caused by technical difficulties.  When it was emailed the sender was receiving a different looking newsletter than what was originally prepared.  Pam Bernard, IASB Administrative Assistant, spent many hours trying to correct the problem with no success.  We have now put the newsletter on the website and have sent you a link to it.  This way everyone will be looking at the same layout.  We hope you find this to be more useful.

From this point forward we should be able to get the newsletter sent to you each month in a timely manner.  Please, let me know if you have any questions or suggestions.

Jim Montoya, CAE
IASB Executive Vice President

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President's Message
by Rich Gibbons

IASB continues to build on our partnerships within the speaker community. As part of this outreach, I worked with Shep Hyken, CSP, to assemble a panel for July's NSA Convention in San Diego, CA.  Fellow IASB members Kiela Hine from Convention Connection, Brian Lord from Premiere Speakers Bureau and Jim Keppler from Keppler Speakers scheduled to join me for this panel on "Must-have Information About Working With Speakers Bureaus." The session helped the NSA attendees understand the important issues that are impacting the partnership between bureaus and speakers.  They also had an opportunity to ask questions in a town hall meeting setting. It was good to see IASB bureau colleagues there.

Speaking of industry events, I would be remiss if I didn't remind all members to mark your calendars for our 2008 IASB Convention in Chicago, April 24 - 26, 2008.

We've already started the program and are building on successes from 2007. It promises to be a terrific and relevant event for all our bureau members.

Hope you're enjoying a warm and successful summer.

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Membership News / Please Welcome Our Newest Members

iZi Palestras
Ms. Liliane Padua
Lisbon, Portugal
+351918256452
izilpadua@gmail.com

LimeLight Communications Group, Inc.
Ms. Kim George
Dartmouth, NS Canada
902-433-1986
kim@limelightgroup.com

Orlando Speakers Bureau
Mr. David Catalano
Orlando, FL
407-628-0016
david@orlandospeakersbureau.com

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Jim Montoya, IASB Executive Vice President received this article from Bruce Weinstein and felt it worthy of inclusion in Bureau Talk.

Ask the Ethics Guy!
The Ethics of Apologies
by Dr. Bruce Weinstein

Every day, it seems, we learn of an apology from a prominent executive, celebrity or political figure in response to an indiscretion of some sort. Those in the public eye have an unfortunate tendency to apologize only after they have been found with a hand in the cookie jar. When this happens, it is only natural for a skeptical (or cynical) public to wonder, "Are they apologizing for their conduct, or simply because they were caught?"

To make matters worse, the wrongdoer will often use the passive voice in his or her apology: "Mistakes were made," rather than, "I made a mistake." It is more comfortable to use the passive voice here, but doing so relinquishes any sense of personal responsibility. It is a non-apology apology and is therefore not very meaningful.

Of course, it's not just those in the public eye who readily offer an insincere "I'm sorry." You probably have at least one such person in your life. It may the person working for you who spends too much time making personal phone calls or surfing the Web while at the office. Perhaps it is a friend who consistently cancels lunch dates at the last minute. Maybe you even find yourself offering apologies more than you should. Regardless of the circumstances surrounding the need for the apology and whether you need to make one or feel you deserve one, the following questions arise:

• What makes an apology meaningful?

• Does apologizing make us look weak?

• How should you respond if you can't avoid repeating the mistake?

• What may we rightfully expect from someone who apologizes to us?

To answer these questions, it will be helpful to keep two ethical principles in mind: "Be Fair,” and "Be Loving.” Fairness or justice requires, among other things, that the punishment should fit the crime, and some forms of wrongful conduct are so serious that a mere "I'm sorry" isn't enough of a response. To be loving and compassionate in our professional and personal lives calls upon a different set of skills: we should do what we can to honor a person's sincere apology, even though our anger pulls us in the opposite direction.

With these two principles in mind, I propose the following guidelines for giving and accepting apologies:

WHEN YOU *OWE* AN APOLOGY:

• Admit your mistake quickly and take personal responsibility for it. Don't say "we made a mistake" when you mean "I made a mistake."

• Apologize first to the person you have wronged. That is the person who matters most.

• Speak from the heart. An insincere apology is as bad as no apology at all. People can tell when you really mean it, even if you think you're a good actor and can fool everyone.

• Realize that "sorry" is just a word. For that word to be meaningful, you must do your level best to avoid repeating the mistake. This means coming up with a strategy and sticking to it.

• Understand that a meaningful apology is a sign of integrity, not weakness. Anyone can blame others, or deny that he or she did anything wrong, or lie about what really happened. Only a strong, self-possessed person can own up to their mistakes, and only such a person commands true respect.

• Don't be afraid to ask for help. If you can't do something well on your own, invite others to work with you on the problem. If the problem is beyond your grasp, consider asking someone else to take it on, if it is appropriate for you to do so.

WHEN YOU ARE *OWED* AN APOLOGY:

• If someone has done something wrong and apologizes to you, accept the apology graciously. However...

• You are also justified in expecting the person to avoid repeating the behavior that required an apology in the first place.

• Depending on the situation, you might need to make clear to the other person what the consequences will be if he or she makes the mistake again.

• "Three strikes and you're out" is fine for baseball, but in other areas, it may take only one strike for someone to be justifiably banished from being a player. Some mistakes are so serious that you should not grant a second chance. For relatively minor slip-ups, however, or if the task at hand is unusually difficult, it might be unfair not to allow more than three opportunities to get it right.

• If the apologist continues making the same mistake over and over, you may have to say, perhaps regrettably, "I can't in good conscience give you another opportunity to slip up," no matter how much that person continues to apologize.

The 1970 film Love Story featured the memorable line, "Love means never having to say you're sorry." Even if this were true, there are many other areas where we do have to say we're sorry-and mean it. The challenge for all of us is to admit we've made a mistake, to do our best to ensure that we don't do it again, and to forgive others who sincerely regret their own poor judgment. No one is perfect, but most of us do have the capacity to right our own wrongs and to accept the imperfections in others.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Dr. Bruce Weinstein is the public speaker and corporate consultant known as The Ethics Guy.  His latest book is, “Life Principles: Feeling Good by Doing Good (Emmis Books).  To contact him, visit TheEthicsGuy.com or call 800 285 6988

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From Speaker of the Month
Dean Lindsay

"Thank you IASB for the honor of being chosen as your March 2007 "Speaker of the Month". The IASB's "Speaker of the Month" program provides an excellent platform for speakers to introduce their speaking services to new bureaus and for bureaus to be introduced to solid new talent. I am happy to report that since receiving the honor, several priceless business relationships have been forged with new bureaus. This is a highly beneficial program and a true win-win for speakers and bureaus." - Dean Lindsay, Speaker/Author
www.DeanLindsay.com

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